Truths of Youth

A little off topic, but oh well. Indulge me...

1. When I was younger I wanted to be a fireman, a doctor, a baker. Never a mother or wife.

2. As a kid I liked to cut my own hair, resulting in many tears when I loped off my beautiful golden locks leaving me with a bob.

3. I used to collect rolly-pollies in my pockets every day. Sand was procured as habitat for my pocket pets.
a. My mom was used to finding dead rolly-pollies and a hand full of sand in each of my pants on wash day.

4. My sister’s cat Jasper used to sleep above my head every night. One time he rolled over on my face and almost suffocated me in the middle of the night.

5. I nearly lost my front teeth when I was 4 due to a Yoo-hoo bottle and a car door.

6. Figment, Teddy, and my Fisher-Price kitchen were my favorite toys as a child.
a. I still sleep with Teddy every night. But have since lost both Figment and my Fisher-Price kitchen.

7. I lied about having a chemistry lab in my basement when I was in elementary school. My house didn’t even have a basement, and my “lab” was a chemistry set I got for Christmas.

8. I never got to be the pink Power Ranger, but I usually just wanted to be the yellow one anyways.

9. I watched Saturday morning cartoons far past the point I should have stopped.

10. I got my first “F” in fourth grade during my first day at my new school in Florida. I cried even though it didn’t count towards my grade. The experience scarred me for the rest of my educational career.

11. My school in Kentucky begged my parents to wait two months to move to Florida so I could take the standardized test with my class and bring up the schools score. Yes, the town was small enough one student would make a difference. And yes, I was the smartest person in my class.

12. I would pretend I was Little Orphan Annie in my backyard. I also pretended to be an archeologist.

13. I had a jar of arrow heads my grandpa and I found in the field behind his house.

14. I collected locust husks and played with daddy-long-legs while the other girls collected baubles and played with dolls.

15. My first snow man was built on my grandparent’s porch railing. He was a foot tall.

16. I kept a caterpillar in a coffee can. One day it turned into a giant moth. I thought it was magic.

17. My fear of the dentist started after being yelled at for crying while my front teeth were being pulled.

18. My sister saved a snapping turtle once. It was the devil. She also saved a kitten from being taken into the humane society. It was an angel.

19. I still don’t know what happened to my grandparent’s dog after my grandpa died.

20. I yelled at a fireman for spraying water on my great-grandma’s house during a demonstration at school.

21. I always loved snow days until I got stuck in the house for two weeks with my family during a blizzard.

22. I lost my first tooth to a Sugar-Daddy during lunch. My sister would not let me put it under my pillow, so my teeth got put on top of the living room television.

23. Moving back to Florida made all of my body issues reappear. 5, 10 or 20… Age makes no difference when you can’t see yourself correctly.

24. I liked my mom’s boyfriend when I was 5 better than my dad.

25. I was never as cool as I wanted to be. But I was never as dorky as I thought I was.