Trees are starting to bloom. It's crazy... It feels like Fall barely began, and Spring is already starting to sneak up. There's not a changing of the seasons in Florida. We have Summer year round, with a few months of weather that dips below 75 which we label Winter. Winter for us means that all of the trees, the grass, the flowers... they've all died. But it still feels slightly hot and humid out. The sky still sparkles in blue.
Fall is my favorite season by far. I love Fall, and always will. But Fall means leaves changing hue. Little kids dressing up to collect candy. Cool weather creeping in making the days crisp. It means bundling up at night to watch the stars while drinking hot chocolate. This kind of stuff just doesn't happen around these parts. Cool weather and that Fall feeling only last about a week. Then everything is dead and depressing except for the palm trees that stick out like sore thumbs with their ever present green. I hate palm trees!
But Spring means everything comes back to life. Spring in Florida is the prettiest time of the year. Everything is green and flowering, but the Summer rains haven't come yet to soak the air and ground. It's still humid, but not that Summer sticky humid that makes it hard to even breathe. The sky is dotted with white puffy clouds and the grass is still soft enough to lay in without a blanket. Birds sing, people light up, and everything just seems happier.
This year however, Spring means something ominous. The blooming of the trees means my birthday is coming up. The first milestone birthday I never wanted to cross. I'll be 25 in a little over a month. That's a big number that meant a lot when I was little.
At 25 I was supposed to be successful. I was supposed to be living in New York. I was supposed to be single and loving it. I was supposed to be a size 2 with a nice high ass. I was suppose to go out every night and meet someone new. Then one day I'd run into some cute quiet guy that would pull me out of my single life-style and I'd have a family. (This part would happen when I was about 30. By which point my life would obviously have ended completely.)
Instead, I'll be turning 25 still living in Florida. Still working a quiet office job that I loathe most days. Staying home with the person that is far from quiet, but pretty awesome in her own right. Still not a size 2, and my ass if far from high. I was supposed to be all of these things. I knew I would be. I'm starting to realize though, I might just be mediocre. And these dreams I had at 12 may have just been dreams. A way to escape the life I had at that time.
Who knows... Whatever, I'm taking a blanket out this weekend and watching the clouds roll by while I'm still young.
1 comment:
this is beautiful. where i live the fall is a brilliant burst of orange and red and spring is cool and rainy and everything goes from gray to green...
and as for those dreams kid, 25, at 25 i was gonna be a famous writer, at 12 i was gonna play professional basketball, i'm a lot closer to my dream at 25 minus the famous part but that's the great thing about dreams, they mutate, they're malleable, now i write which is all i dreamed of doing, at 25 i talked alot about it and drank and sold weed and chased skirts, sometimes those dreams were the only thing that kept me warm inside, so they may not come true tomorrow, they may never come true but i don't think i'd stop chasing them and neither should you... you turn 25 this year, i turn 40 which is an age i never thought i'd reach at 12.
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