Support the Troops

I bought my standard two boxes of Girl Scout cookies yesterday; one box samoas, one box thin mints. It's the same every year. Both are favorites, but samoas have a slight edge. I freeze both boxes, snacking throughout the remainder of the year until the next cookie season. I left my cookies at home today thinking I could last 8 hours before finally tearing open one of the boxes to have that first sweet cookie. Then I saw this on TasteSpotting...

That's a plate of homemade samoas. Fuck, I want my cookies so bad right now. I'm tempted to hunt down a small girl in a green jumper and beg that she give me just one cookie. Maybe if I pretend I'm terminally ill she'll feel bad and give me one. Or I could just wait until I get home, but that's so haaarrrrd...

Jacuzzi Boys

Listening all day...

Pet Peeves

The cards never cover the top left hand corner of the screen. I wait every game for the cards to finish flying around, and they never touch that GOD DAMN CORNER!!!

Universe 1, Nina 0

I hate crying. I hate when I cry. I hate when others cry. I even hate when I tear up after a really intense sneeze. Crying is embarassing. Beyond anything else Icould possibly do in front of others, peeing/burping/farting/falling, crying kills my soul every time. If I had a choice I'd eat a live bug if it meant I would never cry in public again.

So far today I've cried 3 times. Each time in front of people. I'm ready for that bug anytime someone wants to bring it over...

I really just want to lay in bed and watch Little Ashes again while eating brownie mix straight from a bowl.

Untitled 2.2.2010

I want to see what is inside of you;
The meats and organs that breath as your flesh.
I want to hold your heart, beating and red.
1, 2, 3, 4... 1, 2, 3, 4... It beats away, this heart.
I want to kiss your veins, your arteries;
The highways of life passing through unnoticed.
I want to listen to your brain,
As it chimes away with unspoken thoughts.

I want to see what has never been seen.
I want to touch what has never been touched.
I want to know... I want to know you.
The real you. The self you hide from the world.

I want to see what is inside of you;
The putrid and rank pieces.
I want to feel your bones clanking.
Their strength carried through your limbs.
I want to suck out your breath;
Sweet and fragrant air of your lungs.
I want to pick out your eyes;
Swooning with the sight of your reality.

I want to see what has never been seen.
I want to touch what has never been touched.
I want to know... I want to know you.
The real you. The self you hide from the world.
I want you, all of you.

Rose colored cheeks.
Eyes the brown of earth.
I want to see what is inside of you.
Let me in...

Little Ashes

Last night, alone and sitting in my room, I did something dirty. Something you don't talk about. Something that, while you're doing it, you listen for sounds of your roommate coming home for fear they will walk in on you. Last night I watched Little Ashes.

As I've stated before, I have quite the crush on the current Hollywood heart throb, Robert Pattinson. It's something that, since I've admitted it, I have been ridiculed for. But for some reason, as much as I am ashamed of this crush, I can't quit it. If he's in a movie, I'll probably watch it.

Thus was the story last night. My girlfriend had a family dinner which meant I'd have some time alone. Time to give in to my little obsession. And you know what? As much as I wanted to hate this movie, and I truly did want to, I just couldn't. Is Robert Pattinson a great actor? No, of course not. But he is mildly more talented than is discernable in the Twilight movies; which by the way I totally love for all their awesome horridness. In Little Ashes you can see his potential poking through. He goes over the top, and looks awful for most of the film thanks to the wigs provided. But then again, he was playing Salvador Dali who was in real life over the top in the extreme.

Beyond all of this though, Little Ashes still could have hit it out of the park for me without even trying. It contained all of my key ingredients in loving a film: it's a period piece, has tortured artists, secret love affairs, fascists, gypsies, heartbreak, death, and of course it's a film about gay characters (which Haley believes is my only requirement).

Was the movie great? So funny you should ask... No, it wasn't. And I can without doubt say that most people would hate it. But despite the choppy timeline, dual masturbation scene, shitty effects and seeing a pudgy R.P. naked, I loved it. I'll probably watch it again next time I'm home alone with no one around to witness and judge me. Just like when I eat a Snicker's ice cream bar while laying in bed reading erotica novels by the light of my book-light so no one knows I'm home.

January 15-17, 2010

This weekend I got sick because, of course I did; why wouldn't I? I've only been getting sick on a bi-weekly basis for the last few months. What's once more?

Friday I started tasting chlorine in my mouth. You know that sharp pain in the back of your throat you get right before a sinus infection that makes your whole mouth taste of the over-chlorinated wave pools at Wet 'n Wild? Yeah, I had that.

Saturday I resembled a taller version of Sneezy from Snow White. I tried at one point to count how many times I was sneezing, but have you ever tried to do anything intellectual while sneezing? Impossible. I did however manage to make it to the grocery store for the first time in 2 months. The BOGOs this week were amazing! And finally having groceries in my kitchen makes me feel like I actually live at my house instead of just storing my furniture there.

A few people came over to Haley’s that night to play a rousing game of Apples to Apples. We’re obviously sophisticated individuals. After Emily kicked everyone’s asses, Jenna found the creepiest gif I have ever seen. I screamed… Twice…

Sunday equaled a marathon of Man vs. Food thanks to Haley. Now I hate the host of this show, but for some reason I can't stop watching him. He's a douche of the highest ranks, but watching him puss out at every challenge gives me satisfaction that maybe the world isn't so bad. However, in the same day I did see two douche bags hit on a girl working at Einstein's. I mean, she's at work for Christ's sakes. I'm pretty sure she is thinking of other things then hanging out with two strangers after work. She totally ignored them though, and I got the privilege of seeing her laugh at them once they were gone.

After Einstein's Haley and I ran over to Walgreens so I could pick up some medicine for the ever increasing Sinus Disaster of 2010. While there we saw the most oddly proportioned lady that I have ever seen. I'm overly disturbed by women/men who have huge bellies but skinny chicken legs. It doesn't make sense to me that someone could be fat, yet the lowest part of their body looks like it belongs to a 13 year old anorexic girl. Gravity needs to get on the ball and spread that shit around. Anyway, this woman had 3 kids with her, which I guess added to her overblown gut that was hanging over an extremely short pair of shorts that rose only slightly above her "secret 'stache." But right at the bottom of this great big belly roll was a petite size butt and legs. Normally the skinny legged fat people still have large butts. Her's was smaller than mine! Haley tried to snap a picture, but there was no way. We also waited outside in our car to catch another glimpse of her, but we missed her coming out.

That night everyone decided to go out as most sane offices were closed on Monday due to MLK Day. I stayed home and watched Louis C.K. and drank Theraflu because I still felt bad and my office would be open on Monday. We only get five holidays off each year, and I guess the activist responsible for equality in America doesn't count enough. Whatever...

Oh, and if you ever wondered what you look like when you sneeze you should watch this.