January 15-17, 2010

This weekend I got sick because, of course I did; why wouldn't I? I've only been getting sick on a bi-weekly basis for the last few months. What's once more?

Friday I started tasting chlorine in my mouth. You know that sharp pain in the back of your throat you get right before a sinus infection that makes your whole mouth taste of the over-chlorinated wave pools at Wet 'n Wild? Yeah, I had that.

Saturday I resembled a taller version of Sneezy from Snow White. I tried at one point to count how many times I was sneezing, but have you ever tried to do anything intellectual while sneezing? Impossible. I did however manage to make it to the grocery store for the first time in 2 months. The BOGOs this week were amazing! And finally having groceries in my kitchen makes me feel like I actually live at my house instead of just storing my furniture there.

A few people came over to Haley’s that night to play a rousing game of Apples to Apples. We’re obviously sophisticated individuals. After Emily kicked everyone’s asses, Jenna found the creepiest gif I have ever seen. I screamed… Twice…

Sunday equaled a marathon of Man vs. Food thanks to Haley. Now I hate the host of this show, but for some reason I can't stop watching him. He's a douche of the highest ranks, but watching him puss out at every challenge gives me satisfaction that maybe the world isn't so bad. However, in the same day I did see two douche bags hit on a girl working at Einstein's. I mean, she's at work for Christ's sakes. I'm pretty sure she is thinking of other things then hanging out with two strangers after work. She totally ignored them though, and I got the privilege of seeing her laugh at them once they were gone.

After Einstein's Haley and I ran over to Walgreens so I could pick up some medicine for the ever increasing Sinus Disaster of 2010. While there we saw the most oddly proportioned lady that I have ever seen. I'm overly disturbed by women/men who have huge bellies but skinny chicken legs. It doesn't make sense to me that someone could be fat, yet the lowest part of their body looks like it belongs to a 13 year old anorexic girl. Gravity needs to get on the ball and spread that shit around. Anyway, this woman had 3 kids with her, which I guess added to her overblown gut that was hanging over an extremely short pair of shorts that rose only slightly above her "secret 'stache." But right at the bottom of this great big belly roll was a petite size butt and legs. Normally the skinny legged fat people still have large butts. Her's was smaller than mine! Haley tried to snap a picture, but there was no way. We also waited outside in our car to catch another glimpse of her, but we missed her coming out.

That night everyone decided to go out as most sane offices were closed on Monday due to MLK Day. I stayed home and watched Louis C.K. and drank Theraflu because I still felt bad and my office would be open on Monday. We only get five holidays off each year, and I guess the activist responsible for equality in America doesn't count enough. Whatever...

Oh, and if you ever wondered what you look like when you sneeze you should watch this.

Strung Out

This is my grandmother looking utterly trashed. She normally doesn't look like this, I think she was just caught off guard by my sister who was taking the picture. But either way she looks massively out of it.

Which made me think of this...

That my friends is a picture of me completely out of it. Notice the glazed over eyes. The slight twinkle in the expression saying, "I have to pee." The wavy sweaty hair of a girl that's been standing outside in the Florida heat for way too long. Anyway, to say it bluntly, this is me wasted.

But beyond this, what makes me think of this picture when I see the one above of my dear grandmother? The wrinkles... Look at those crows feet that are starting under my eyes. As stoked as I am on getting puffy veins as I age, I'm equally unstoked on getting wrinkles. FML guys. FML...

Recent Obsessions

1. I've been obsessed with pho as of late. I'm trying to loose weight, and homemade pho is a great way to fill up without taking in too many unwanted calories; Vegetarian and lots of spinach and mushrooms. Plus it's fucking delicious!

2. Solitaire is owning my soul. I still suck at it, but I can't seem to stop myself from playing. I really need for things to pick back up at work so I can stop.

3. I keep cracking my knuckles lately. It's a gross habit, I know. But it just feels so good...
4. Straight people have gay crushes. Gay people have straight crushes. This is mine for the time being. And yes, it's all Twilight's fault.
5. I forgot how good this can feel. Let's just hope I make it past chapter 3. I have enough barely started musings sitting on my desktop already.
6. I cannot, I will not, stop listening to The Avett Brothers new album. I recommend you get it if you have not already.

That my dear friends is my life for the past few months in a nutshell. Besides fixing up those tables, which I promise to post about soon, and catching up with old friends, life has been somewhat boring; Enough so that craking knuckles is an appropriate thing to post about. Though I will say that seeing some of my old friends has made me rather nostalgic as of late. But that is a whole other post that hopefully, when I'm a little less consumed by the effects, I will tell you all about.

Stressed Times at Parkland Dr.

Stress is often a huge part of my life. I try to come off as I don’t care about the happenings around me, that I’m impartial. And for the most part, I have the majority of the people around me fooled. But the truth of the matter, and something I rarely let be known, is that I’m almost always freaking out on the inside. Money, relationships, family, the fact that I ate a Snickers bar for lunch… All of these things travel through my head at random moments leaving me with the anxiety of a kitten in a room full of ravenous wolves. Recently I’ve been spending everyday looking for places to live. I love my roommates, but it’s time for me to move on. Unfortunately, it’s not the right time for my wallet. So I’ve spent innumerable hours searching for 1 bedrooms only to be let down. Now I’m back to searching for 2 bedrooms. Maybe 3 bedrooms are in my future as well, but I hope not. So what does this mean for your fateful heroine?

I’M STRESSED THE FUCK OUT!!!!!!!!!!! I need my own place. I need money to get my own place. I need someone to actually be renting a one bedroom, which apparently they don’t build anymore… And I need to stop eating Snickers bars for lunch.

So I’m taking a break. I’m fighting the urge to look at houses for a couple of days. I need to forget about it for a little while before I freak out and run my car into a pole while out running the streets for a place to live. I’ll talk to my roommates and tell them that I can live with one of them, but not both. I’ll explain that together they are just too messy, and I’m too anal about forward facing soup cans to deal with it. I’ll tell them I love them both, but my OCD can only stand so much. Then I’ll go back to looking for a place to live.

And Everything Was OK!

Yesterday was a crazy fuck-up of a day. And though everything turned out OK, it brought back a lot of memories that I preferred to keep tucked away. To put it lightly, hospital waiting rooms just really aren't for me.

Friday night I got a voicemail from my Aunt Starr telling me I needed to call her immediately. As a woman that can never figure out that she is actually talking to a voicemail recording, this short and coherent message was out of the ordinary. Something was wrong. I debated calling her back. I was on my way downtown for a show and I had plans for the weekend. Did I really want the bad news right then, or could it wait? I called... And preceded to sink to the ground on a back road of downtown. (I do not recommend this as I know all too well of the bodily relieving that takes place on the streets of Orlando.)

My uncle had had a heart attack. He was being life flighted to the Orlando hospital. I needed to go see him as soon as possible.

After some research I found out visiting hours are only until 9 in the ICU, there was nothing I could do that night and I wanted to get my mind off of things. I went to the show. The next day I found out he was on bed rest and wasn't allowed to move at all. It was best for me to wait to see him. I kept with my plans I had made months ago and went out of town for a show in Gainesville. I got back late Sunday and had to work until 5:30 on Monday. When I got off I called my cousin to see if I could stop by. "They kick us out from 6 to 8, then we come back for an hour before they kick us out for good. You won't make it in time to see him. Don't worry..."

So I couldn't see him at all. He was scheduled for a double-bypass on Wednesday; this would be the first time I'd get to see him. When I walked into the room that morning I was surprised to see how awake he was. He looked worse for the wear, but he was ready to get on with his surgery. He also was sporting a newly shaved head; something my cousin gifted him in the middle of the night while he was sleeping. After a group prayer it was out to the waiting room.

My uncle went in at 2:30. We finally got to see him at 6:40. He was still asleep and wouldn't wake until the morning. He's connected to too many tubes and a breathing machine. There are only 30 minute increments of visiting time every few hours per day. I won't be seeing him again until he's home.

Mondays

Scene 1: It’s a Monday morning. Nina has just walked into work. She’s setting up her desk for the work day. Her desk sits at the back of the building in a corner by the elevator to the upstairs offices. There are no visible windows from her station. Her desk wraps all the way around the corner, incasing her. Once seated, it is as though she is in a holding cell at the local prison: trapped for filing a folder wrong. It is start week at the school, so new students are running around looking for rooms that don’t exist. Around the corner comes a familiar face. The first staff member is arriving to the offices.
Staff Member 1: “Morning Nina! How ya’ doing today?”
Nina: “Oh, good morning! I’m doing great, besides it being Monday of course! How about you?”
SM1: (Giggle) “Yeah, about the same. Have a good weekend then?”
Nina: “Yep! Just not long enough. You?”
SM1: “It was pretty good! Sat around and lounged.”
Nina: “The perfect way to spend the weekend then.”
Nina smiles and returns to her work. Staff Member 1 disappears into the elevator on his way upstairs.


Scene 2: Five minutes later. Nina still sitting at her desk. Another staff member rounds the corner.
Staff Member 2: “Morning! How’s it going?”
Nina: “Pretty good. Monday, you know? How about you?”
SM2: (Smiles) “Yeah! How was the weekend?”
Nina: “Too short, but still good! You?”
SM2: “Not bad. Sat around and lounged.”
Nina: “The perfect way to spend the weekend then.”

Scene 3: Three minutes later. Nina STILL sitting at her desk. Another staff member rounds the corner.
Staff Member 3: “Hey Nina! You look bored. (Giggle) How are you?”
Nina: “Good. Monday, you know? You?”
SM3: “Hangin’ in there. Weekend, did you do anything fun?”
Nina: “Just stayed around town. Hung out with some friends. The regular… You?”
SM3: “Worked a little on Saturday, so yeah…”
Nina: (Barely paying attention) “Too bad!”

Scene 4: One minute later. Nina STILL sitting at her desk. Another staff member rounds the corner.
Staff Member 4: “Hey!How are you?”
Nina: “Good. You?”
SM3: (Smiles, totally fake) "How was your weekend?"
Nina: (Exasperated by the conversation)“Not bad.”

Scene 5: 10 seconds later. Nina STILL sitting at her desk. Another staff member rounds the corner. Nina looks up and immediately looks down. It’s the Monday Guy! He walks straight to her desk bypassing the elevator.
Monday Guy: (in a slightly slow southern drawl) “Hey there! You haven’t by any chance seen my coffee mug have you? Its pink with a picture of the cutest kitten on it.”
Nina: “Nope. Did it go missing?”
MG: “Yeah, don’t know where it could have gone. Say! You look down today. Gotta case of the Mondays, huh?”
Nina: (rolling her eyes) “Guess so.”
MG: “I feel so bad for you, sitting back here all by yourself. That’s why I come talk to you.”
Nina: “Oh, I don’t mind it. Really! I kinda like the quiet.”
MG: (Puzzled look) “Well, if you see my mug will you let me know? I’m gonna check around and see if anyone else has seen it.”
Nina shakes her head yes without looking up from her computer. Monday Guy sulks off to the stairwell, stopping everyone he sees. Nina waits for him to disappear from site. Once gone she opens her desk cabinet. Inside sits a pink coffee mug with a white fluffy kitten sitting in a rocking chair. Nina laughs to herself and locks the cabinet back up.

The End