Pet Peeves

The cards never cover the top left hand corner of the screen. I wait every game for the cards to finish flying around, and they never touch that GOD DAMN CORNER!!!

Universe 1, Nina 0

I hate crying. I hate when I cry. I hate when others cry. I even hate when I tear up after a really intense sneeze. Crying is embarassing. Beyond anything else Icould possibly do in front of others, peeing/burping/farting/falling, crying kills my soul every time. If I had a choice I'd eat a live bug if it meant I would never cry in public again.

So far today I've cried 3 times. Each time in front of people. I'm ready for that bug anytime someone wants to bring it over...

I really just want to lay in bed and watch Little Ashes again while eating brownie mix straight from a bowl.

Untitled 2.2.2010

I want to see what is inside of you;
The meats and organs that breath as your flesh.
I want to hold your heart, beating and red.
1, 2, 3, 4... 1, 2, 3, 4... It beats away, this heart.
I want to kiss your veins, your arteries;
The highways of life passing through unnoticed.
I want to listen to your brain,
As it chimes away with unspoken thoughts.

I want to see what has never been seen.
I want to touch what has never been touched.
I want to know... I want to know you.
The real you. The self you hide from the world.

I want to see what is inside of you;
The putrid and rank pieces.
I want to feel your bones clanking.
Their strength carried through your limbs.
I want to suck out your breath;
Sweet and fragrant air of your lungs.
I want to pick out your eyes;
Swooning with the sight of your reality.

I want to see what has never been seen.
I want to touch what has never been touched.
I want to know... I want to know you.
The real you. The self you hide from the world.
I want you, all of you.

Rose colored cheeks.
Eyes the brown of earth.
I want to see what is inside of you.
Let me in...

Little Ashes

Last night, alone and sitting in my room, I did something dirty. Something you don't talk about. Something that, while you're doing it, you listen for sounds of your roommate coming home for fear they will walk in on you. Last night I watched Little Ashes.

As I've stated before, I have quite the crush on the current Hollywood heart throb, Robert Pattinson. It's something that, since I've admitted it, I have been ridiculed for. But for some reason, as much as I am ashamed of this crush, I can't quit it. If he's in a movie, I'll probably watch it.

Thus was the story last night. My girlfriend had a family dinner which meant I'd have some time alone. Time to give in to my little obsession. And you know what? As much as I wanted to hate this movie, and I truly did want to, I just couldn't. Is Robert Pattinson a great actor? No, of course not. But he is mildly more talented than is discernable in the Twilight movies; which by the way I totally love for all their awesome horridness. In Little Ashes you can see his potential poking through. He goes over the top, and looks awful for most of the film thanks to the wigs provided. But then again, he was playing Salvador Dali who was in real life over the top in the extreme.

Beyond all of this though, Little Ashes still could have hit it out of the park for me without even trying. It contained all of my key ingredients in loving a film: it's a period piece, has tortured artists, secret love affairs, fascists, gypsies, heartbreak, death, and of course it's a film about gay characters (which Haley believes is my only requirement).

Was the movie great? So funny you should ask... No, it wasn't. And I can without doubt say that most people would hate it. But despite the choppy timeline, dual masturbation scene, shitty effects and seeing a pudgy R.P. naked, I loved it. I'll probably watch it again next time I'm home alone with no one around to witness and judge me. Just like when I eat a Snicker's ice cream bar while laying in bed reading erotica novels by the light of my book-light so no one knows I'm home.

January 15-17, 2010

This weekend I got sick because, of course I did; why wouldn't I? I've only been getting sick on a bi-weekly basis for the last few months. What's once more?

Friday I started tasting chlorine in my mouth. You know that sharp pain in the back of your throat you get right before a sinus infection that makes your whole mouth taste of the over-chlorinated wave pools at Wet 'n Wild? Yeah, I had that.

Saturday I resembled a taller version of Sneezy from Snow White. I tried at one point to count how many times I was sneezing, but have you ever tried to do anything intellectual while sneezing? Impossible. I did however manage to make it to the grocery store for the first time in 2 months. The BOGOs this week were amazing! And finally having groceries in my kitchen makes me feel like I actually live at my house instead of just storing my furniture there.

A few people came over to Haley’s that night to play a rousing game of Apples to Apples. We’re obviously sophisticated individuals. After Emily kicked everyone’s asses, Jenna found the creepiest gif I have ever seen. I screamed… Twice…

Sunday equaled a marathon of Man vs. Food thanks to Haley. Now I hate the host of this show, but for some reason I can't stop watching him. He's a douche of the highest ranks, but watching him puss out at every challenge gives me satisfaction that maybe the world isn't so bad. However, in the same day I did see two douche bags hit on a girl working at Einstein's. I mean, she's at work for Christ's sakes. I'm pretty sure she is thinking of other things then hanging out with two strangers after work. She totally ignored them though, and I got the privilege of seeing her laugh at them once they were gone.

After Einstein's Haley and I ran over to Walgreens so I could pick up some medicine for the ever increasing Sinus Disaster of 2010. While there we saw the most oddly proportioned lady that I have ever seen. I'm overly disturbed by women/men who have huge bellies but skinny chicken legs. It doesn't make sense to me that someone could be fat, yet the lowest part of their body looks like it belongs to a 13 year old anorexic girl. Gravity needs to get on the ball and spread that shit around. Anyway, this woman had 3 kids with her, which I guess added to her overblown gut that was hanging over an extremely short pair of shorts that rose only slightly above her "secret 'stache." But right at the bottom of this great big belly roll was a petite size butt and legs. Normally the skinny legged fat people still have large butts. Her's was smaller than mine! Haley tried to snap a picture, but there was no way. We also waited outside in our car to catch another glimpse of her, but we missed her coming out.

That night everyone decided to go out as most sane offices were closed on Monday due to MLK Day. I stayed home and watched Louis C.K. and drank Theraflu because I still felt bad and my office would be open on Monday. We only get five holidays off each year, and I guess the activist responsible for equality in America doesn't count enough. Whatever...

Oh, and if you ever wondered what you look like when you sneeze you should watch this.

Strung Out

This is my grandmother looking utterly trashed. She normally doesn't look like this, I think she was just caught off guard by my sister who was taking the picture. But either way she looks massively out of it.

Which made me think of this...

That my friends is a picture of me completely out of it. Notice the glazed over eyes. The slight twinkle in the expression saying, "I have to pee." The wavy sweaty hair of a girl that's been standing outside in the Florida heat for way too long. Anyway, to say it bluntly, this is me wasted.

But beyond this, what makes me think of this picture when I see the one above of my dear grandmother? The wrinkles... Look at those crows feet that are starting under my eyes. As stoked as I am on getting puffy veins as I age, I'm equally unstoked on getting wrinkles. FML guys. FML...

Recent Obsessions

1. I've been obsessed with pho as of late. I'm trying to loose weight, and homemade pho is a great way to fill up without taking in too many unwanted calories; Vegetarian and lots of spinach and mushrooms. Plus it's fucking delicious!

2. Solitaire is owning my soul. I still suck at it, but I can't seem to stop myself from playing. I really need for things to pick back up at work so I can stop.

3. I keep cracking my knuckles lately. It's a gross habit, I know. But it just feels so good...
4. Straight people have gay crushes. Gay people have straight crushes. This is mine for the time being. And yes, it's all Twilight's fault.
5. I forgot how good this can feel. Let's just hope I make it past chapter 3. I have enough barely started musings sitting on my desktop already.
6. I cannot, I will not, stop listening to The Avett Brothers new album. I recommend you get it if you have not already.

That my dear friends is my life for the past few months in a nutshell. Besides fixing up those tables, which I promise to post about soon, and catching up with old friends, life has been somewhat boring; Enough so that craking knuckles is an appropriate thing to post about. Though I will say that seeing some of my old friends has made me rather nostalgic as of late. But that is a whole other post that hopefully, when I'm a little less consumed by the effects, I will tell you all about.