January 15-17, 2010

This weekend I got sick because, of course I did; why wouldn't I? I've only been getting sick on a bi-weekly basis for the last few months. What's once more?

Friday I started tasting chlorine in my mouth. You know that sharp pain in the back of your throat you get right before a sinus infection that makes your whole mouth taste of the over-chlorinated wave pools at Wet 'n Wild? Yeah, I had that.

Saturday I resembled a taller version of Sneezy from Snow White. I tried at one point to count how many times I was sneezing, but have you ever tried to do anything intellectual while sneezing? Impossible. I did however manage to make it to the grocery store for the first time in 2 months. The BOGOs this week were amazing! And finally having groceries in my kitchen makes me feel like I actually live at my house instead of just storing my furniture there.

A few people came over to Haley’s that night to play a rousing game of Apples to Apples. We’re obviously sophisticated individuals. After Emily kicked everyone’s asses, Jenna found the creepiest gif I have ever seen. I screamed… Twice…

Sunday equaled a marathon of Man vs. Food thanks to Haley. Now I hate the host of this show, but for some reason I can't stop watching him. He's a douche of the highest ranks, but watching him puss out at every challenge gives me satisfaction that maybe the world isn't so bad. However, in the same day I did see two douche bags hit on a girl working at Einstein's. I mean, she's at work for Christ's sakes. I'm pretty sure she is thinking of other things then hanging out with two strangers after work. She totally ignored them though, and I got the privilege of seeing her laugh at them once they were gone.

After Einstein's Haley and I ran over to Walgreens so I could pick up some medicine for the ever increasing Sinus Disaster of 2010. While there we saw the most oddly proportioned lady that I have ever seen. I'm overly disturbed by women/men who have huge bellies but skinny chicken legs. It doesn't make sense to me that someone could be fat, yet the lowest part of their body looks like it belongs to a 13 year old anorexic girl. Gravity needs to get on the ball and spread that shit around. Anyway, this woman had 3 kids with her, which I guess added to her overblown gut that was hanging over an extremely short pair of shorts that rose only slightly above her "secret 'stache." But right at the bottom of this great big belly roll was a petite size butt and legs. Normally the skinny legged fat people still have large butts. Her's was smaller than mine! Haley tried to snap a picture, but there was no way. We also waited outside in our car to catch another glimpse of her, but we missed her coming out.

That night everyone decided to go out as most sane offices were closed on Monday due to MLK Day. I stayed home and watched Louis C.K. and drank Theraflu because I still felt bad and my office would be open on Monday. We only get five holidays off each year, and I guess the activist responsible for equality in America doesn't count enough. Whatever...

Oh, and if you ever wondered what you look like when you sneeze you should watch this.

Strung Out

This is my grandmother looking utterly trashed. She normally doesn't look like this, I think she was just caught off guard by my sister who was taking the picture. But either way she looks massively out of it.

Which made me think of this...

That my friends is a picture of me completely out of it. Notice the glazed over eyes. The slight twinkle in the expression saying, "I have to pee." The wavy sweaty hair of a girl that's been standing outside in the Florida heat for way too long. Anyway, to say it bluntly, this is me wasted.

But beyond this, what makes me think of this picture when I see the one above of my dear grandmother? The wrinkles... Look at those crows feet that are starting under my eyes. As stoked as I am on getting puffy veins as I age, I'm equally unstoked on getting wrinkles. FML guys. FML...

Recent Obsessions

1. I've been obsessed with pho as of late. I'm trying to loose weight, and homemade pho is a great way to fill up without taking in too many unwanted calories; Vegetarian and lots of spinach and mushrooms. Plus it's fucking delicious!

2. Solitaire is owning my soul. I still suck at it, but I can't seem to stop myself from playing. I really need for things to pick back up at work so I can stop.

3. I keep cracking my knuckles lately. It's a gross habit, I know. But it just feels so good...
4. Straight people have gay crushes. Gay people have straight crushes. This is mine for the time being. And yes, it's all Twilight's fault.
5. I forgot how good this can feel. Let's just hope I make it past chapter 3. I have enough barely started musings sitting on my desktop already.
6. I cannot, I will not, stop listening to The Avett Brothers new album. I recommend you get it if you have not already.

That my dear friends is my life for the past few months in a nutshell. Besides fixing up those tables, which I promise to post about soon, and catching up with old friends, life has been somewhat boring; Enough so that craking knuckles is an appropriate thing to post about. Though I will say that seeing some of my old friends has made me rather nostalgic as of late. But that is a whole other post that hopefully, when I'm a little less consumed by the effects, I will tell you all about.

Traits

Some things you may or may not know about me...

1. I suck at Solitaire. Really, I fucking stink at it. I might win one out of every 15 games, but I still keep trying.
2. I love folk/alt. country music, but I rarely listen to it in front of other people because most people I hang out with don't.
3. If someone moves away, I think of the person as if they had died. I'm still not sure if this makes it easier or harder.
4. I'm overly stubborn, but I hate fighting so I'll eventually give in. But I'll still steam about you being wrong for days to come.
5. I like really salty food. If it's not salty, it has no flavor.
6. I take comfort in the repetative. I'll tap off beats in rhythm for hours before I realize what I'm doing. Toe, toe, thumb, toe...
7. I miss the desks at my highschool because I haven't been able to really crack my back since I graduated.
8. I'm terrified of growing old.
9. The world I create inside my mind is better than what I see in front of me. So I prefer to live in my head most days.
10. I hate bread.
11. I play with tape all day long at work.
12. I'm always cold. Always...
13. I'm always worried I'm going to fall down stairs. So I never look up when I'm walking down them. I think I'd loose my balance if I did.
14. I like reading every billboard I pass while driving.
15. I like corny romance movies and novels.
16. I like the smell of skunks and gasoline.
17. I grind my teeth when I'm sleeping.
18. I pluck my eybrows on the daily.
19. I love making lists and organizing.
20. When I get bored I tend to get angry.
21. I always get something stuck in my teeth after eating.
22. I hate my back.
23. Whenever I make a phone call I get really nervous.
24. When I was 12 I dreamed about being 20. Now that I'm 24, I dream about being 12.
25. I take most things for granted until they're gone.

It's hot again...

Fuck!

Oprah Can Suck Balls

Fuck this preview. It made me cry at work. Stupid fucking sad...

Will not be seeing. I don't think I could handle the full movie. The trailer alone made me feel like crawling in bed for 3 days and eating nothing but chicken noodle soup and ice cream. Fuck you, Oprah, for always producing movies that make people want to die of sadness.



This better have a happy ending.